Have you ever had a negative perception of someone else before? Ever had that imaginary discussion with them while they were simply going about their life, and doing whatever it is they do? It feels like they’re sandpaper to you – rubbing you the wrong way in every personal exchange, and grinding you down to your last nerve.
If you answered yes, then you are like the rest of us. You struggle at times with boxing someone in to some negative stereotypes, and they probably don’t ever have a fighting chance of getting out.
Staying on this thought begs another important question: Have you ever thought about the way others may perceive you? Have you ever wondered if there’s someone else in this world who is harboring negative feelings towards you because of something you did – or even worse – something they perceived you did?
Though we may be so quick to believe that we aren’t in the wrong, and defend our position vehemently, we have still offended. We would probably be mortified to learn of all the negative perceptions others are holding us in. And this is a sobering thought to meditate on when we start thinking this way towards others.
I’ve realized that there are a couple major reasons why we end up in this ordeal of putting others into this ‘trap’. And they both trace back to a problem that is actually related more to our own existence that someone else’s.
The first issue is when we end up seeing ourselves SMALLER than we actually are – struggling with a shattered self confidence and a deflated ego. We end up beating others down mentally and verbally to compensate for our own weaknesses.
The second issue is when we see ourselves BIGGER than we actually are – peaking in pride and floating along on an inflated ego. I’ve heard it said that anyone who’s wrapped up in themselves is a pretty small package. How true. In this condition, we tend to beat others down to agree with our own ego.
In both instances, others suffer – all because we haven’t got our own junk worked out. This is a sad story, indeed.
The scriptures speak towards this kind of thing in PHILLIPIANS 2:1-4;
“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
To consider others better than ourselves is a pretty tough order to fill. We spend our lives looking after ourselves. Our needs. Our desires. Our schedules. Our reputations. Our bodies. Our futures. We’re wired to look out for ‘numero uno’, and yet this upside-down kingdom kind of command is ringing out to us all – you are NOT first. Others are now first.
Not sure if it can get any clearer than that.
Many times, considering others just means getting to know their story. Their heart. Their background. Their hurts. Their needs. Once we’re aware of these things, we’re able to gain a whole new perspective, and a lot less likely to hold a negative, distorted perception of them in our hearts.
Go ahead. Put someone first. Do it today. I dare you.
JJ
